“In sickness and in health” was part of our relationship before we ever said our vows.
When Matt and I met, he had already been diagnosed with a couple of chronic illnesses. Although I lived with chronic pain, his challenges were much more significant. We knew from the start that our lifestyle would be shaped in part by his health problems.
What I didn’t grasp then, though, is how very strong Matt is. It takes dazzling strength to know how to be weak well.
As Paul explains in 2 Corinthians 12:9-11:
- God’s power works best in our weakness
- So when we are weak, then we are strong
I’ve had the privilege of observing this truth in Matt’s life throughout our marriage. When my health became a greater challenge last year, I was particularly grateful for Matt’s longstanding example of being weak well. Because of his faithfulness in suffering, I knew weakness wasn’t something to fear but to regard as an opportunity, because:
To be weak well is to be reliant.
When we struggle, we learn that dependence can foster deeper relationships. We learn to spot others’ unique strengths and to be more grateful for them. Sacrificial, non-transactional love is easy for us to recognize because there is less to muddy those waters. All this gives us a clear view of the reality that apart from Christ we can do nothing – nor does He ask us to (John 15:5.)
To be weak well is to see God’s power.
If we can’t lift a finger but a mountain moves, we know it wasn’t us that did it. Weakness gives us a better ability to differentiate God’s handiwork from our own. Seeing His handiwork grows our faith, our awe, our prayers, and our witness. 2 Corinthians 4:7 summarizes it this way: “we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.”
To be weak well is to learn intentionality.
Living within our limits forces us to take stock of what we are and aren’t capable of, and then to prioritize our energy and time accordingly. When our limits are hard to deny, intentionality becomes hard to ignore. Numbering our days becomes more natural when being thoughtful about how we go about our days is already a necessity.
To be weak well is to be humbled.
When we are regularly confronted with our finite nature, it is harder to think more highly of ourselves than we ought. Every misstep (or step we simply can’t take) reminds us that we are dependent, mortal, and in need of grace. We have to ask for help. So we get more comfortable asking for help. This humility makes casting all our cares on God because He cares for us as natural as casting our weight on a cane if our legs cease to support us anymore.
To be weak well is to grow in compassion.
It is harder to judge the cracks in other clay jars when we have many of our own. When we know what it is to be in need and know what grace we regularly receive, we can look on others and their needs with more compassion. Many people who are gentle, meek, and deeply kind know firsthand the importance and impact of those qualities. We comfort with the comfort we have received from God.
To be weak well is to increase our discernment.
Being vulnerable requires us to hone our sense of discernment. We have to learn who we can and can’t rely on, and so we learn how to recognize reliability in others. We become more aware of our limitations – and that helps us be both gracious about others limitations and honest with ourselves about our limtiations. Our intentionality enables us to recognize when others are being careless, because we recognize the impulse and results since we’ve experienced them undeniably ourselves.
To be weak well is to be content with Christ’s strength.
The secret to contentment is summed up by Paul in Philippians 4:13.
“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”
(This is from the same Paul who boasts of his weakness in 2 Corinthians 12.)
What Christ gives is enough for the weak, who are not trying to prove their self-sufficiency, but the sufficiency of God’s grace. His strength given to us moment by moment in exactly the right measure assures us that His power will prove to be all we need, for everything, forever. And what a future we have to look forward to with Him (James 1:9-12.)
(Thank you, Matt, in honor of our recent 13th anniversary and the challenges of the past year, for unwaveringly relying on Jesus and helping me to do the same!)