Dealing With What You Didn’t Choose

One of the greatest evidences of sin, in my experience, is this:

Victims must confess the crimes committed against them.

For criminals to go behind bars, victims have to share what was done to them. Those harmed in ways that cause lasting damage have to live everyday with someone else’s choices. There are things outside our control we have to live with (like, say, a global pandemic.)

In our fallen world, injustice is part of justice. Pain is part of healing.

At some point or another, we all experience this.

I won’t pretend to have comprehensive answers to this problem, but below are a few thoughts on the matter.

Vulnerability is Part of Healing in a Fallen World

Sharing a need makes us vulnerable to well-meaning (but also sometimes ill-intended) remarks. Loving someone without betraying their confidence leads others to false assumptions. Invasive medical treatments to heal us also open us up to all sorts of unpleasant questions. Caring means being disappointed. Even when we’re forgiven, there are consequences.

We don’t choose the hard things, but we have to live with them anyway.

We Didn’t Choose Suffering, But…

I pondered this one night with an uncharacteristically wet face, mourning pain and problems I couldn’t escape that I never chose. What I kept crying out to Christ was, “I didn’t choose this.”

Finally, it struck me.

We don’t choose the hard things, but Jesus did.

We have to live with sin. Jesus doesn’t. But He did anyway.

If anyone knows the injustice of justice, or the pain involved in healing, it’s Jesus. He chose to enter a sinful world, to become a man, to live with the consequences of our sin.

He chose what we would never choose because He loves us. That was the cost of saving us.  

He bore the wrath of God even though He was the only one who never deserved it. He died a criminal’s death even though he had literally never done anything wrong. He took on all the sin we choose, which He never chose for Himself.

Because Jesus Chose to Suffer…

This means the one who stands beside God interceding for us knows the full depths of the pain that cuts us deeply when we deal with what we didn’t choose.

Betrayal. Abandonment. False accusation. Humiliation. Abuse. 

He deserved them less than any of us do. But He chose to suffer all these atrocities because He loves me and you.

And…He loves us while we are still perpetrators of pain, of sin.

When it comes to dealing with what we didn’t choose, there’s value in pouring it all out to the One who understands perfectly. The One who died on the cross and then left behind an empty tomb. He made a way for us to have peace with God, and He is making a place free of pain and injustice where we will dwell eternally.

Dealing With What We Didn’t Choose

We don’t get to choose what we suffer, but we do have the choice to entrust it to Jesus. And He is worthy of all our trust.

What a day it will be when victims no longer have to confess the crimes committed against them, when there are no crimes left to confess…

What a day it will be when all that’s confessed is the precious, perfect name of Jesus!

“For it is written, ’As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.’” –Romans 14:11

The Hand of God, by Alistair Begg is an excellent book about God’s involvement in the parts of life we didn’t choose. It focused on the Bible story of Joseph.

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