Bethany McIlrath

First and Second: Perspective On What Matters Most (Matthew 22:36-40)

When Loneliness is a Blessing -The Word Works Series

Writing on her blog Fearfully Made Mom, Abby reveres the Lord and His workmanship in her words and life. Sharing stories and thoughts that many of us encounter in daily our lives, Abby is quick to point straight to the truth we need to hear. Listening in gladly today!
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I remember the first time we drove through this small town tucked into hills of Western Maryland. It was a cold, rainy day and a heavy fog hung over us like a blanket.

As we made our way across the overpass and I looked down at the place I would later call home, I thought, “Oh God, what have I done?” My husband and I were going to be living here in a few months, and I had agreed to the move here sight unseen.

I looked out my window and I thought about the friends we’d be leaving, the church where we’d thrived, and the snowy peaks outside our doorstep in Utah. Had we gone crazy? On what planet did we decide this was a good idea, to pick our family up and move cross country for the second time in five years?

And yet, in late January during one of the coldest winters on record, that is exactly what we did.

After living with my in-laws for a few months while looking for a house, we finally found a place to raise our growing family. We were expecting our second son, and I was eager get active in the community. But the more we tried to fit, to find a church family and make friends, the more elusive our desires became.

I wondered if we’d heard God wrong. Even though we’d prayed fervently before making the move, I couldn’t help thinking we’d made a mistake. What I didn’t realize was that even in the midst of my grief, God was working.

God can use some of our loneliest seasons to draw us closer to Him.

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As we push back against the isolation and wonder where He is, He’s whispering, “I’m right here, my love. Come and sit with me a while. Everything you need is right here.”

During those months where I grieved the life we’d lost in Utah, God drew me to his side and comforted me like no friend ever could.

He gave me an understanding of his Word which can only be gained by living it.

I remember coming across this verse in James during those first few months of transition into our new town.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,

whenever you face trials of many kinds…”

James 1:2 NIV

I used to look at verses like this one and think, “Seriously? That sounds really nice in theory, but how can it apply to my everyday?”

But the move changed me.  It took James words and put skin on them in a way I never expected.

After spending some lonely months in my recliner nursing my newborn, I saw that James wasn’t delivering some clichéd phrase to sound religious. He was speaking truth and life.

joy

I wasn’t happy about my situation, but I had joy. Because friends, joy goes so much deeper than being happy. It is knowing no matter what trials life brings, we cling to a hope which will withstand it all.

As God worked on my heart, he prepared a place we would later call our church home. He brought people to our doorstep who ministered to me in my sadness.

When a new spring dawned and buds formed on the trees outside our window, I knew our winter of isolation was over. And I thanked God for everything He taught me during the cold.

This post is being shared on: #TestimonyTuesday, #RaRaLinkup, #Intentionally Pursuing, #WomenWithIntention, #TellHiStory, #Thought-Provoking Thursday, #DanceWithJesus, #LLMLinkup and #LifeGivingLinkup.
  1. kristine Avatar
    kristine

    I can totally identify with your situation Abby. We used to move a lot with my husband’s job. The two of us had a habit of seeing all the good things we were leaving behind, and not trusting God with what was ahead in our new place. I don’t like to admit that, but it’s true:( Like you, we learned to rely on God’s unending faithfulness. He always guides us if we will let HIm. Blessings friend!

    1. Abby Avatar

      Yes, I think that’s our tendency- to focus on what we’re leaving behind. I thank God for his faithfulness during those seasons of transition. He is good! Thanks for visiting today, friend.

  2. Michele Morin Avatar

    I’ve been there too — the world all around feels like a howling wasteland, and it’s hard to even open our hearts enough to let in the comfort that God wants to give. Thank you for sharing how it has worked for you!

    1. Abby Avatar

      So true, Michele. We have to open our hearts to receive his comfort, which is difficult sometimes. I’m thankful I finally realized that. It’s a lesson I often have to relearn. 😉 Thanks for visiting today!

  3. Michelle Avatar

    My DH & I moved several times before we settled.
    Although I have to laugh when I say settled.
    We have rented the same house for over 15 years.
    So, are we really settled?

    Each time we moved we would spot a rainbow in the sky as if God were leading us on.
    Most of our moves were big…from one state to another.
    Some were small, as little as a mile apart and then some.

    1. Abby Avatar

      I love that God gave you a rainbow for each move. So amazing. Thanks for sharing some of your story, Michelle. Sometimes I actually wish we’d rented because I don’t know if we’ll stay here permanently either, but rentals that allow pets are hard to come by in this area. Blessed by your visit here today.

  4. […] Will you continue reading with me? Today I’m honored to be sharing in Bethany McIlrath’s Word Works series. You can read the rest of my post here. […]

  5. Trudy Den Hoed Avatar

    This is so encouraging, Abby. Lately I’ve been trying to understand what authentic joy really is and it seems we can experience it and still have sadness in our lives. I love how you say it is much deeper than being happy and “It is knowing no matter what trials life brings, we cling to a hope which will withstand it all.” Beautiful! Thank you. Blessings and hugs to you!

    1. Abby Avatar

      I think it’s a lifelong lesson and Lord knows I don’t always get it right, Trudy. Blessed by your encouragement here today. Thank you and hugs back!

  6. Isabelle Avatar

    I too am going through a time of loneliness. Having parted ways with my old best friend, I now spend all my time with my kids and husband. I have many great acquaintances, but no best friend anymore. It’s been a lonely few years. I have been listening to a podcast series by Joyce Meyer about finding true joy. Joy even in sadness. I see that you seem to share the same opinion as her and it’s something I’m also working on. Thank you for sharing your story. It’s very inspiring!

    1. Abby Avatar

      Isabelle, I am sorry to hear about you and your friend. I have been there and I know how hard it is. Praying for you as you continue on this journey and that he will bring some special friends into your life. Thanks so much for visiting today!

  7. betsydecruz Avatar

    Thank you, Abby, for this post, and for this verse. I just got some not so great news. Need that Consider it ALL Joy verse! He is good and faithful.

    1. Abby Avatar

      Betsy, I am sorry to hear that but please know I’m lifting you up in prayer today, friend. You are loved. (hugs)

  8. Karrilee Aggett Avatar

    What a powerful and beautiful testimony! And this: “I wasn’t happy about my situation, but I had joy.” So good and so true!

    1. Abby Avatar

      Thank you for your sweet encouragement today, Karrilee! Yes, God is good even when we don’t see it right away. 🙂

  9. […] love this verse. Abby shared it in her post this week about how loneliness can be a blessing. She describes a lonely season in her life and […]

  10. Christine Duncan Avatar

    Joy that cannot be shaken… so thankful for His faithfulness in ALL things! Amen! xxoo

    1. Abby Avatar

      Amen! So thankful, his blessings never cease. xoxo

  11. Tiffany Parry Avatar

    Always love hearing more of your story, Abby. So amazing how God can reach into what feel like the darkest places and redeem them with such great hope. He’s truly the expert at it, isn’t He?! Love you, friend – thank you for drawing us closer to Him.

    1. Abby Avatar

      Yes, it is amazing. I didn’t see it so much at the time, but there’s so much I can look back on now and see how God was working. Love you too, friend!

  12. LisaAppelo@TrueandFaithful.net Avatar

    Abby, you took me right back to a similar place for me… and it was right after I had a baby as well. Those times do teach so much. One of my favorite graces during that season was so much uninterrupted time with family. That time is now a sweet memory!

    1. Abby Avatar

      That is so true, Lisa. Uninterrupted time with the family is a gift. Thanks for reminding me of that.

  13. Rachel Quigley Avatar

    We did something very similar about 20 years ago. Packed up our little family (hubby, 1 year old daughter and me 4 months pregnant). We moved across country, sight unseen! No job… just a calling and here we are 20 years later and it’s all good! God has a way of working and getting us to where we need to be when we trust Him!

    Thanks for this great reminder!

    1. Abby Avatar

      I love how our stories connect, Rachel! Thanks for sharing!

  14. Bre Rock Avatar

    Abby, thank you for posting, this is where I am right now. Hubs and I moved to PA about 2 years ago and I’m still having trouble adjusting and understanding why God still has us here. If it were up to me I’d up and leave and go back to VA where we came from. Thank you for the much needed reminder that even though I’m lonely I always have the Lord as my joy.

    1. mbethany Avatar

      Hello fellow PA transplant! SO grateful Abby shared her story here today. I spent a year in MN and found it very lonely, I didn’t know what to expect when the Lord called us to PA. After almost 2 years, I’m amazed at the people He is surrounding us with now- and blessed to see these relationships grow! Whereabout in PA are you? : )

  15. Joanne Viola Avatar

    Thank you for this beautiful reminder of how our God uses all things in our lives. Every season, even the ones we may not be enjoying at the moment. Blessings!

  16. Carly Avatar

    Thanks for sharing your story. Loneliness is really not pleasant, but looking back I can also see that times when I have been lonely are times that have helped me draw close to God. I love that he can use even our difficult experiences for good.

  17. nikihardywpuser Avatar

    Thank you for sharing your story. When we moved to the US to plant our church it was a lonely time. As a “foreigner”, but also as a pastor’s wife, it’s been a long journey to feeling I fit and finding “my people”. Many of them are online!!

  18. bcb0 Avatar
    bcb0

    ((Abby)) God always finds a way to meet us where we are, doesn’t He? Love your phrase, “He gave me an understanding of his Word which can only be gained by living it.” I think this is why our grandparents were so wise…they’d lived on His promises and gained wisdom. May you continue to be blessed in your new home state. ((xoxo))

  19. Chad Avatar

    You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this matter tto be
    really something that I think I would never understand.

    It seems too complex and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your nnext post, I will try to gget the hang of it!

  20. thumbzilla Avatar

    Hi! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zzynga
    group? There’s a lot off folks that I think would really enjoy your content.
    Please let me know. Thanks

    1. mbethany Avatar

      Feel free to share with anyone who might benefit! Blessings!

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