Formerly a journalist, Lois approaches her blog, Waxing Gibbous, with facts. Facts about life, the facts of a story she is living, and the facts of who our Lord is and how He is working right now. She lives and writes truth, and I’m blessed to share this space with her today.
When I was in my early 30s, I wrote a book about infertility. I worked on it during the long months after my husband and I ended our three-year effort to conceive and before we adopted our first daughter from China.
I believed then—as I still believe now—God’s promise to work all things for the good of those who love him, those who are called according to his purpose. So every chapter, which mostly focused on the spiritual and emotional aspects of infertility, flowed out of my desire not to let our struggles go to waste.
My book was published by a traditional Christian publisher in 2003. The business was different back then; huge numbers of social media followers were not necessary to secure a book contract because social media barely even existed.
I had no blog, no platform, no speaking career. I was simply a former journalist, wife and mom-to-be with some deeply held beliefs about how God uses our pain for his glory.
In the months after the book’s release, the publisher arranged for me to promote it on several national Christian television and radio programs. I was surprised to find that I really enjoyed this process—it was fun to be on the other side of the interview after so many years of working as a reporter.
After about a year, though, I received the phone call no author ever wants to receive.
The editor was very sorry, but the book hadn’t lived up to sales projections. As a result, the company was going to sell off the remaining inventory at a deeply discounted price and put the book out of print.
I was angry and embarrassed, but what I felt most at the time was bitter disappointment. I couldn’t believe that the project I had poured my heart and soul into would be snuffed out so soon.
For a while, I held on to an irrational hope that the editor would call me back and say the company had made a mistake—that the decision makers had changed their minds about putting my book out of print.
That call never came.
What did come, though, was a message from the Holy Spirit. A familiar scripture that made a new impression on me—shared as part of a Bible study I started on the very day the publisher called.
“He must increase, but I must decrease.”
These seven words were spoken by John the Baptist near the beginning of Jesus’ earthly ministry, but in my heart, I knew they also were what one of my mentors would call a “right now word from God.”
In those disappointing days after my book went out of print, I sensed that my current season of influence—however small and short-lived it might have been—was over.
God wasn’t just ushering me off the stage,
He was guiding me out of the building completely.
And somehow, John 3:30 helped me be OK with that.
I had no way of knowing that, in the years ahead, I would decrease so much I almost disappeared completely.
Soon thereafter, we moved to a new state where nobody knew about my writing background. Life was good in many ways, but the wilderness stretched long ahead of me. For several years, my words simply went away.
Years later, once the fog dissipated and the desert was mostly a memory, I started writing again. I took it slowly at first—with an article here and there, then a blog. Another book is in the works, but my past disappointment often hangs like a dark cloud over my current efforts.
One morning not too long ago, I read an article by a literary agent about the kind of platform that publishers require these days. It was discouraging, to say the least.
Forget being in the ballpark. I’m not even in the same universe.
Later that day, as I was thinking about what to write for this series, John 3:30 came to mind again.
He must increase, but I must decrease.
In God’s economy, it’s not about numbers, platform or audience.
It’s not about the logical, most obvious way that God can use our trials for his glory.
It’s not about us at all.
Is there a message in there for you today? There is for me, though I confess it doesn’t make much sense right now.
As I look to the future—to what I sense God is calling me to do, writing wise—the way forward is a bit murky. How it all fits in with God increasing and me decreasing, I’m not sure.
One thing is certain: While I need to do my part—even in the face of near-insurmountable odds—God will be the one who gives the increase.
At this point, only He knows what that might look like. But I do know it won’t happen unless I get to work.
So a promise and a prayer from scripture that I ran across several months after my editor called is giving me faith to take the next step, even when the next step is just to write another sentence.
“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.
Lord, Your love is eternal;
do not abandon the work of your hands.”
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